Giving Too Much, Too Soon

Have you experienced relationships with family, friends, or significant others that feel one-sided and drain you of your energy? You do your best to treat others the way you want to be treated, but rarely feel this is returned. Other people never seem shy about asking you to do them another favor, yet you feel guilty if you say no. Deep down you may be afraid others will leave or abandon you, especially if this mirrors actual experiences from your past.

You have a lot going for you, but are so hard on yourself. All the things you’ve achieved in your life don’t seem to change how you feel inside. You compare yourself to people you think are more successful, more attractive, or more lucky in love than you. No matter how many times someone compliments you, it never seems to “stick.”

The Power of Self-Compassion

Creating boundaries with others and building a healthy relationship with yourself requires us to confront our own limiting negative beliefs and replace them with a sense of kindness toward ourselves. These beliefs come from many places, including our childhood, experiences at school or with romantic relationships, and often from society itself.

At Inner Window Counseling, I help clients to do the work of finding out who YOU are, independent of the roles you play for others. Once you discover the sources of your own authentic joy, you will naturally attract others into your life who want to give as much as they get. You deserve to have relationships with others that feel fulfilling instead of draining. You deserve to be able to take time for yourself instead of always putting others first without regard for the impacts on you. You deserve to recognize your own talents and achievements without always feeling “less than” someone else. You can learn to value yourself for the unique individual you are, and stop putting so much value on external validation.

Book your free consult now and take the first steps toward gaining confidence, setting healthy boundaries, and finding the strength to eliminate toxic relationships once and for all.

Frequently Asked Questions

• How long does therapy take? How long it takes depends on each person; sometimes 3-6 months is enough, other times it may take a year or more. Usually clients that are able to come at least once per week see the fastest progress. Each session lasts between 45-55 minutes, depending on what we need to cover that day. Although therapy is not a “quick fix,” consider how long you have had these feelings. They didn’t start overnight and won’t go away overnight, either. But with consistent effort over time, you will see results.

• How do you help people with codependency, low self-esteem, or people pleasing? Every behavior exists for a reason - at one time, we needed to do the things we do or believe the things we belief in order to stay physically or emotionally safe. Our work together will be a process of exploring your unique history and experiences. We are looking for patterns in things you came to believe about yourself, other people, and the world. Once we understand the unspoken “rules” you live by, we will work on helping you change these beliefs. This is done by a combination of conversation, exercises you can do between our sessions, and learning to express your emotions in a safe way. Over time, the way you see yourself and others will begin to reflect the person you are now as a capable adult, not the person you were then whose circumstances were very different.

• Do you accept my insurance? How much do sessions cost? I am in network with several insurances. You can also pay for sessions with a Health Spending Account or Flex Spending Account. For a full list of insurances I take and the cost for self-pay sessions, click here.

• How can I get started? First we will have a free phone consultation for us to decide if we would work well together. I will find out more about your goals and you can ask any questions you have. If we’re a match, I will send you a link to some new client paperwork to complete electronically. After it’s completed, we will choose a mutual time to meet either in person or virtually.